Giving Yourself Credit

It's a weird position to be in, to be constantly afraid of failure and not able to give yourself credit whenever you do something. If that's you, welcome to the club! Have a seat, we have pizza.

This week, I found out that I passed an assessment that determines whether I can continue on in my college program. I failed it the first time, and since it's a small program, I had to wait a full year to do it again. I've worked hard, and I did it! I passed!

I told my family and my best friend, and for about an hour, I was on cloud nine. I couldn't stop smiling, I was practically jumping up and down. I'm still excited about it, but almost as soon as I found out I passed, a new sense of anxiety popped into my head.

Am I good enough for this?

Can I really do it?

Is this really what I want to do?

This is typically the brand of imposter syndrome I deal with. It's scary to think that I put all of this work (and money) into this program, but to think that I might fail in the future, or that I won't end up enjoying it. Terrifying, right?

Do I have advice on how to deal with this? Well…

I know it sucks to hear and doesn't feel super helpful, but it's true: You just have to try. It’ll be hard and scary and feel extremely overwhelmed, but there's no other way to know without trying.

I never want to be the kind of person who tells you that you can think positively or just persevere through all the hard things in life. Sometimes life sucks! It's hard! Living with a brain that is trying to sabotage you at every turn is extremely difficult.

I do, however, want to be the kind of person who tells you this: You should go after what you want. You deserve to try as hard as you can and feel good about the effort you put in. You deserve to be proud of yourself.

Seriously. You deserve all of that and more.

If nothing else, I'm proud of you.

–Abbie