Oversharing

Choosing What You Tell To Who

I realized fairly recently that I have an oversharing problem. I don’t think I’ve always had this problem, it’s sort of new. What brought this to my attention was when, a few months ago, I was telling a coworker about my diabetes diagnosis, and all of the things I went through surrounding it. Almost as soon as I finished telling her the story, I regretted it. Why did I tell her all of that?

Some things happened between myself and this coworker that I am not going to go into (see that? I’m getting better already!), but as time went on I found myself regretted sharing that with her more and more. She didn’t need to know how my diagnosis affected me emotionally and mentally—not that I went that deep into detail—it’s a very personal story of a traumatic time in my life. Why was I handing this story out so quickly?

Well, the reason for that sort of goes hand in hand with why I started this blog: I want to share my story and raise awareness. However, is the way I’m going about that good for me? In some cases, I would say no.

A couple of weeks ago at work, the topic of one of my family members came up. I do not speak to that family member, and I did not really want to go into detail as to why. A coworker asked me what happened between us, and I was able to give them a basic answer with some examples—I didn’t get into the emotional toll those situations had (and still have) on me. They didn’t need to know any of that.

Your story has power. Whether you are dealing with mental illness, physical disabilities, financial struggles, or anything else, your story could one day help someone through a hard time. There is no denying how powerful and amazing that is, but you also need to keep yourself and your own well-being in mind when you are sharing your hardships with another person. Are you ready to tell that story? Are you re-traumatizing yourself by going into too much detail? Does the person you are speaking to need to know the nitty-gritty details of how you got back on your feet?

These questions are extremely important to ask yourself before and while you are sharing your story. If you aren’t ready or comfortable talking about something, you don’t have to talk about it. You do not owe anyone your story. If you want to share it, great, you should! However, please take care of yourself as well.

Stay safe!

—Abbie