Transitions
Life transitions are never easy. Whether you're finishing school, switching jobs, or losing a friendship or relationship, the discomfort is palpable.
I recently made the decision to not continue my college degree. It was a difficult choice, given that I had spent so much time (and money) on this path and I felt like I would be letting people down. I knew, however, that it wasn't the path for me. So after a lot of tears and doubts, I dropped my classes for the winter 2023 semester and sent an email to one of my professors telling her the news.
I’m incredibly proud of myself for making that decision. A few years ago I would have been tempted to just continue on doing what I thought I was “supposed” to do. That’s a story for another day, though.
I turned twenty-two in November, and I’ve heard from a ton of people that this is one of the weirdest times of a person’s life. You’re either in school or fresh out of school, your friendships are still being formed and you're likely to lose some of them. Your family dynamics might be changing and you have to adjust to that, too.
This past holiday season was odd. In the past I would always be so excited for Christmas, whether for the presents or the food or the tradition of all of it. However, things are different this year. My brother lives with his girlfriend now, and so they had to split their time between our family and hers. My cousin is engaged and had to go to at least three different Christmases, not to mention the medical issues she’s been having in the past couple of months.
In the fall of 2022 I officially cut ties with family members who mistreated me when I was growing up. One of them messaged me out of nowhere on Facebook and apologized for everything that’s happened. Part of me wanted to assure them that it was fine and we could start fresh. However, I stood firm and told them everything I’ve been holding in for years. It was hard, but it also felt good. My inner people-pleaser did, however, tell them that we could remain friends on Facebook and wish each other a happy birthday, but that was it. Boundary setting? Me? Unbelievable.
That in itself is a huge transition in my life. Like I said, I wanted so badly to revert to my old ways in both instances, but I stood strong. I listened to myself and did what I thought was right for me. If you’re a recovering people-pleaser, know that any steps toward boundary setting and truly listening to yourself are a huge win. You will get there, I promise.
If you’re also going through a period of change in your life, I hope you know you aren’t alone. It’s a weird time to be a person in general right now, let alone starting to live your life. Give yourself a little credit for getting to this point and pushing through. It’s uncomfortable and it sucks sometimes, but I promise you that we will all get through this.
I hope this year is kind to you. Let’s go, 2023!
—Abbie
