Everyone Makes Mistakes…But I Shouldn’t

Over the last couple of weeks, my blood sugars have been on quite the rollercoaster.

Some background on blood sugars really quick—the ideal range for diabetics is between 70-150ish, depending on some other factors and circumstances. This is what I’ve always been told.

Okay, back to the rollercoaster ride. I’ve always had issues with low blood sugars (anything below 70 mg/dl), not much with highs. That changed about two weeks ago, when all of a sudden my blood sugars when I got home from work were at least in the mid-300s if not higher. I haven’t changed my routine or my eating habits and I haven’t had any additional stress in my life lately, so there isn’t a clear reason why my numbers are changing so dramatically.

To top it all off, the other day at work I went from high at breakfast to low a couple hours into work—followed by my meter deciding that it didn’t want to work for me anymore and also didn’t want to tell me if/when the batteries were low. Thankfully the store I work in has a pharmacy where I get almost all of my supplies, so I was able to run over there on my break and get a new meter (that also works with the test strips I use) before running back to the break room and doing a few tests to make sure it was accurate and going back to work. To make the day even better, about an hour later I was low again. I was pretty exhausted by the time my last break rolled around so I grabbed something sweet for a snack. Then, surprise surprise, my blood sugar absolutely skyrocketed.

I follow a lot of fellow diabetics on social media, and many of them will share things that say something along the lines of “you are not a bad diabetic” or something about diabetes burnout. In my experience, it’s a lot easier to share those things when you’re not going through it, but less so when you’re in the middle of it.

I’m a perfectionist, and I like to be in control of things. These two things combined with having a medical condition that doesn’t always react the same way to treatment is a recipe for disaster. I firmly believe that it is normal and human to make mistakes in all parts of life—I’m very forgiving of other people, not so much of myself.

I’m working on this, but it’s so much easier said than done. I’ve leaned a lot on the people around me over the past couple of weeks, and I am so fortunate to have them. Even the people who don’t totally understand diabetes have been so supportive and understanding of the extra time and effort I have to put in to regulate my blood sugars.

If you deal with any chronic or mental illness, know that bad days do not equal bad management. Some things are out of our control, no matter how hard we try to do our best. It’s okay to be tired, it’s draining. Give yourself some grace, and I’ll try to do the same.

Take care of yourself.

—Abbie