It's Okay To Be Sad

On the surface, it sounds a bit weird to say this out loud. Of course it's okay, right? Humans feel a wide spectrum of emotions and all of them are valid.

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you'll know that I struggle with this concept quite a bit. I grew up believing that my emotions were too much, too big, and that led me to stuffing them down until I could barely feel anything. Sometimes I wish I could go back to avoiding difficult feelings, I wish I could just smile and nod be numb to the hardships that life throws at me.

However, I now know how unhealthy that is. Thanks to therapy and a large community of people who struggle with similar things, I've become more comfortable feeling all of the big, loud emotions that come up, and even voicing them. I'm incredibly thankful to have people in my life who are receptive when I say that I'm uncomfortable, angry, or just having a bad day. I don't feel like I have to hide who I really am around them, and that's huge for me.

When I was growing up, I was genuinely afraid of some feelings. If I was starting to feel sad, for example, I would try to stuff it down or distract myself, because I had this idea in my head that being sad for any period of time meant that I was going to feel sad forever. I felt the same way about anger. If I was angry, and showed it, that reduced me to an angry person. I wouldn't have any other qualities, I believed, I would just be mad.

Even with all of the progress I've made, I still struggle. When I'm frustrated about something at work and get snippy with my coworkers, I'll start to worry about what they think of me. Will they still want to be friends with me? Did I go too far? Will they ever talk to me again?

Of course, all of these concerns are overblown. I'll apologize the next time I see them and, more often than not, they'll assure me that they understood I was upset and it's all good.

If you struggle to deal with your feelings in a healthy way, know that you aren't alone. It's a long process, and it may often feel like it's too hard and painful, but trust me when I say it is one hundred percent worth it.

Take care of yourself.

–Abbie