Processing
This week marked the fifth anniversary of my diabetes diagnosis, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I have slowly been breaking down the wall around the experience.
Let me tell you what I mean by that. I've told the story on here before, but I'll give you a quick, spark notes version to catch you up.
I had symptoms of type 1 diabetes for nearly ten years before I was diagnosed. My symptoms weren't the typical signs of T1D that you usually think of until right before I was hospitalized. I was sick for nearly a month before my mom found me one morning unconscious on the floor of my bedroom.
I spent almost two weeks in the hospital while also seeing doctor after doctor to talk about why I could hardly move my arms. We didn't end up getting an answer on this for months, but TLDR, my blood sugar was so high that it caused a complication in which the nerves in my arms became inflamed.
Okay, you're caught up.
Every time I have told my story, I've been able to keep my composure for the most part. The only times I tend to get emotional are when I start talking about my family's reactions or how difficult it was for me to adjust to school again after getting out of the hospital. I'm not a psychologist, but I honestly think this is some sort of coping mechanism to keep me from completely breaking down.
Don’t get me wrong, I had several break downs in the first month after I got home.
I've recently been thinking more and more about how this experience has affected me. I do think I have some trauma related to hospitals. I don't spend a lot of time in them, but whenever I go in for blood work or to visit someone, the sterile smell puts me on edge.
There's another element to this, too.
My brother was diagnosed ten years before I was, and I've learned in the past couple of years that I began to have symptoms around the time of his diagnosis. Even before! But my symptoms weren't as common as the typical extreme thrist, weight loss, frequent urination, etc etc..
That's another reason why I share my story. T1D is no joke, especially if it goes untreated for a long period of time. It's not something to play around with.
Take care of yourselves, y'all. And speak up if you think something is wrong.
—Abbie
